Why having an eating disorder led me to raw/nutritarian

Raw food challenge recap

Eat Better

Life's unreasonably tough right now. This is okay; I'm not complaining. It's just hard. I'm really just here to opine on how stress affects my eating. Because it does. Insofar as I don't do much of it. Eating, that is.

I actually feel nauseous a lot. This could have something to do with my basic health; my immune system is not what it should be, as usual. But when you're nauseous you don't much want to eat a bowl of fruit, or anything for that matter. I guess I could stomach some rice but I don't feel motivated or well enough to make it.

Although I don't careen about the world all stressed out, I do think it gets to me in other ways, and this is one way. Food becomes secondary, I don't want to watch shows with beautiful people, I don't want to talk to anyone about anything. I just want to stay in bed and watch Oprah. (This implies Oprah is not beautiful, which is in fact not the case.) Which I obviously cannot do. I have to force myself out of these sweats and go out and buy some food, get a prescription, get something to eat. Just being outside should help.

My friend is coming next week. There will be much culinary debauchery -- I am looking forward to this. I know at the very least she'll make me eat, and I'll be happy to, largely because I'll be happy.

I don't think I'm depressed. I'm just inundated. I want to focus on all the sunshiney aspects of the food I ought to be eating, but it's hard to even acknowledge the sunshine. Last night I had to set boundaries with two people and ended up in tears, bereft, poured out. It's all too much is how it seems. But I'll be all right. I honestly just need a plan. Baby steps to the elevator.

First order of business in reference to this plan: eat better.

Still plugging along -- to the best of my ability

I went away this Labor Day and found out first hand how difficult it is finding ways to eat raw in a cooked world. I couldn't manage it hardly at all, and after becoming so sick after even the smallest (S.A.D.*) meals, I started to stop eating altogether. Seems the body acclimates quite quickly to the raw lifestyle, which is good on a lot of levels, just not when you're forced to transition to another way of eating. Alas. How to go from sixty to zero in just one day!

Am back on raw now, thank God. Fruits, nuts and more fruit. Due to some surgery today (local anesthetic) I'm a bit less-than-motivated to go rummaging for food, but hopefully I ultimately make a healthy choice. It's kind of hard caring about things when you're on narcotics which make you want to hug everybody.

In any event, I will definitely continue with the raw way of life. It'll be curious to see what percentage I ultimately reach and sustain. Irrespective, I know it's a great thing for me right now; it makes me feel good -- like I'm doing something wonderful for my body. Which I am. More fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds never hurt anybody!

*standard American diet